Defining Women in Relation to Others

Joanne Rogers passed away yesterday.  She was an extremely accomplished musician and lover of music, an excellent patron of the arts, and did a significant amount of charity work.  She headed the board of the foundation her husband, Fred Rogers (better known as “Mr. Rogers”), started, after his death.  She was a kind, generous woman.  
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I noticed, in reading all the online articles, that nearly every single one of them described her as “Mrs. Rogers” and went on to detail her life in relation to her husband’s career and life.  And it bugged the hell out of me – she was her own person, who deserves to be remembered for her own accomplishments and life, not just how she contributed to her husband’s.  
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This isn’t anything new.  
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More than once folks have greeted us as “Dr. Tobin and Mrs. T” – they just assumed he was the one with the doctorate.  My husband takes great pleasure in correcting them.
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It happens often in the outdoor world, too.  When I’m at outdoor stores, they assume I’m there shopping for my husband/boyfriend. 
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Or that I’m a casual hiker – the other day I was at REI, because I needed a new pair of boots for hiking.  The guy said he had just the thing and brought out a very pretty pair of boots, that were clearly not for someone that hikes more than occasionally.  I mentioned that and he asked, surprise, “oh, you hike weekly? You and your husband must have a great time!”  Mine? “I go alone.” 
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Or they ask where my husband/partner is, because it’s not safe for me to be out alone.  Ladies and gents, I’ve been leaving my house alone since I was a kid.  
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It’s a social construction that dates back millennia – defining a woman (and her life) in relation to her spouse, whether she’s alive or dead.  It’s something I’ve done myself.
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We need to recognize it and stop it.  
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Has this ever happened to you? 
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Quehanna – land was once held in stewardship by the Susquehannocks